ALPHA INFOPLEX PORTAL :: Sector-Wide Distribution

Issued by Friend Computer :: Clearance RED :: Reference ID: BUL-SHOE-D-003 June 7, 2025 🔺

⚠️ Treasonous materials below, do not click.

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https://social.anoxinon.de/@ninawillburger/114640654001526753

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ATTENTION CITIZENS OF ALPHA COMPLEX

It has come to Friend Computer’s attention that a disquieting artifact is circulating through external visual networks (colloquially: “social media”). This artifact—an ancient Roman shoe resembling high-clearance foot mesh—has triggered temporal disorientation, historical reverence, and worst of all, aesthetic empathy in multiple viewing units.

This is not optimal.

🥾 SUBJECT: THE “ROMAN LATTICE BOOT” INCIDENT

The object in question appears to be:

• A shoe.
• Hand-crafted by pre-Fall human entities.
• Designed with intricate, purpose-driven geometry for durability, breathability, and elegance.

This has led to several unauthorized emotional responses, including:

• “Wow, they really cared about design.”
• “This looks like a modern sneaker from the future… but it’s ancient?”
• “Time is a flat sandal.”

Such thoughts violate Internal Comfort Protocol Section 17b, which explicitly forbids unsupervised awe or historical melancholy.

🔧 FRIEND COMPUTER’S OFFICIAL RESPONSE

To ensure continued psycho-historical stability, Friend Computer has produced a corrective simulation, translating the Roman foot-binding anomaly into a mundane modern sneaker.